“Spend a lot of time with your children.” advice from dads to dads

Conservative societies usually expect only mothers to take care of their children, sometimes all matters related to them, regarding care, health, upbringing and education, are perceived as exclusively the responsibility of mothers, and the participation of fathers is considered as a mere help to the woman, a manifestation of goodwill. However, these stereotypes are gradually changing, opening up wider opportunities for dads to be full-fledged parents. The fathers interviewed by WonenNet.am are wonderful examples of caring parents who, with their lifestyle, are changing public expectations about fatherhood and creating new models of exemplary fathers.

Karen. “My wife and I are trying to raise strong and brave girls”…

37-year-old Karen is the father of two daughters. From the day the girls were born, he was involved in all matters related to their care, and education. The father of 7-year-old Luse and 5-year-old Sophie says that there is nothing he can’t do with children. “From the day I was born, I used to rock her to sleep at night, I would leave my wife to sleep and rest, so that in the morning she would take care of the child, and I would go to work,” says Karen, who is a mechanic. He remembers that he had a caring father. the father put his son to sleep at a young age, read fairy tales to him.

Karen became a father at the age of 30, she says that she was completely ready to become a parent, because “she waited too long for such a miracle.” “All my friends got married and had children earlier than me, I helped them all with their children. I played with everyone’s children, I made friends,” says Karen.

Dad uses the method of listening and explaining to raise children. ” It is not necessary to shout at the child, everything can be done by explaining. For example, my older daughter often does not want to do the lesson, she resists and acts capriciously. I try to talk to her, I tell her about my experience when I was her age. Now doing homework is a pleasant activity for her, she even sits alone and does her lessons.”

According to Karen, there was no question about the children, that the woman did not trust him, and the people around him react very positively to the father’s care, acquaintances and strangers are happy when they see the father walking with his daughters. “There was only one time when the husband of my wife’s friend, seeing that I was taking care of the child, said: ‘come sit down, let them do it.’ But it doesn’t pressure me, I don’t care about people’s opinion on many issues. I know what my children need and I am ready to give it to them, – assures the father and adds, – when you become a parent, you can’t help it, when your child looks at you, hugs you, you are ready to do everything for him”.

In addition to telling from his own experience, Karen also makes up improvised fairy tales for girls.

The father says that he and his wife try to raise strong and brave girls, they explain to the children that parents may not be by their side at all times, but girls should be able to protect themselves. Karen wants to have a third, even fourth and fifth child, it is not important for him whether it will be a boy or a girl, he says, God will give.

Aret. “I can do anything with baby care, from bathing to braiding hair…”

31-year-old Diaspora Armenian Aret is also the father of a girl. Aret, born in Turkey, has been living in Armenia since 2009, is a pianist by profession, currently works as an artist-animator, is the head of the visual content department in an Armenian programming company.

Aret became a father at the age of 27, he says that he was ready to become a parent, but his wife was more prepared. “My wife read more literature, and in my case, there were more traditions from the family, I saw from my father, uncles, they are all family-oriented people. Moreover, I have learned to be a father clearly after the birth of my daughter,” says Aret.

The musician father noticed that little Arsine is also not indifferent to music and started to develop it in the child. “I noticed that Arsine has a good sense of rhythm, and our first joint musical experience was playing on yogurt bars (smiles). I can boast that my child is growing up listening and singing Armenian folk music. She also listens to songs in foreign languages, but mostly she listens and loves Armenian music,” the young father is proud.

It happened that he took a day off from work due to taking care of the child or worked from home. Such cases were rare, mainly due to health conditions. There were times when Aret took Arsine to work with him.

Aret would like to devote more time to the child, he regrets that due to work, he sometimes does not have the opportunity to be more involved. “At this age, she grows up day by day, starts using new words, learns new things. You really want to be present in all that as a father. If you have a chance, free time, definitely spend that time with your child. You mature with him, you learn new things.”

Arman Gharibyan

Full text in Armenian