“I endure for the sake of the children”

My interlocutor D is quite active on social networks ․ She publishes photos of family events, smiling photos of her husband and children and how surprised I was that we started talking on the Internet, and she sent her photos with blood-stained eyes and bruised hands. According to her, most of the problems arise because the husband is jealous, can’t come to terms with the idea that the wife works, is often in Yerevan because of work, is active on the Internet, that’s why she monitors internet conversations, posts family life photos to prevent anyone from writing.

She objected to the proposal to apply to the law enforcement agencies immediately.

Against the backdrop of some public outcry against women’s rights and domestic violence projects, the voices of D and many women like her are becoming more deaf and invisible, and when you protest against violence and take action against it, you immediately involuntarily become a holder of the title of fighter against the institution of the family.

However, if there is violence in the family, tears, crying, is it worth living in that family which has nothing to do with healthy relationships, especially family and morals?

And you, dear women, dear sisters,  it is many of you often cry and even send photos of your friends, relatives, acquaintances and sometimes even photos of your torn body and soul, tears in your eyes, it is you, who then put on make-up and smile, publish beautiful photos on social media. Do you really think that you are doing good to your children, or is it a great honor to have a family at that price? How moral is it to raise or involve them in the scenes of endless violence against the same moral children? Is it moral to force a child to constantly live with the inability to protect his/her mother, to feel fear, to get sick, to live in an environment of swearing?

After all, many of you may not be fooled into believing that you are enduring for your children. Many of you endure because of the  accepted norms, because of “what people will say.” Do not resist for the sake of the children, resist for your sake.

Ask the children who grew up in an environment of violence, whose mothers stayed with their abusive husbands for the sake of their children. While no one is thankful for their mothers, moreover, they believe that they have been deprived of their childhood. Endlessly, many blame their parents for their personal tragedy, fears that never pass, that they did not protect them from their own fathers, sometimes from other relatives, and therefore never tolerate violence for the sake of the children.

Life will not be given a second time, is it worth wasting this short life on fears that maybe one day you will just become a statistic of suicide cases, announced at the end of the year?

Don’t resist for the sake of the children, protect yourself, save yourself…

Mariam Mughdusyan