Quarantine violates family peace

Under conditions of all-encompassing isolation, when everyone is at home seven days a week, 24 hours a day, not all families are able to overcome quarantine by living in love and solidarity. During a state of emergency, when free movement of people is restricted, the risks of domestic violence increase. According to experts, there is an increase in cases of domestic violence and divorce worldwide, which, according to experts, is a predictable result for families staying in a “long-term” stressful situation in a closed area. At the same time, even the slightest disagreement in a family that did not pay attention to  before can deepen the isolation and lead to serious conflicts.

Sona’s family is in a similar situation. She has been married for 14 years and has two daughters, aged 11-6. One and a half months of isolation completely broke the peace of her house.

“In the beginning, everything was fine,” she says. “It’s as if we could finally be together with the whole family. Especially since my husband was rarely at home, he often didn’t even have dinner, he used to come tired and sleep right away, or he could only watch a little TV after dinner. We can say that I was happy, we would finally have a rest together with our family, in a bit unusual conditions, but we would be together.

However, Sona’s expectations were not met, and her husband soon became angry and quarreled over even the smallest of occasions, insulting and cursing. The woman is puzzled, she has discovered the traits of her husband’s character that she simply did not know until now, because he was less at home. She thought that maybe his behavior is the result of stress…

My husband started complaining about everything, everything started to affect his nerves, nothing was what he wanted:  once meal was tasteless, another time –  house was badly cleaned, or I didn’t collect dust in the far corner of the house. The accusations and insults continued unabated. I had never noticed such behavior before, he had never interfered in the affairs of the house, or even complained about me. I am puzzled, he constantly compares me and children with others and says that I’m not as greedy and chaste as other people’s wives, I can’t understand how to treat my husband. Children are rude because my upbringing is not enough to raise them properly, they make a lot of noise, they are not as smart as other people’s children. Every detail becomes an occasion for quarrels, insults and curses. During our 14 years together, we have never argued so much, my husband has never insulted me so much. During the last month, I have been constantly accused and acquitted, and my husband is always the accuser and the noisy complainant.

Sona is confused and tries to understand what’s going on in her family, but one thing is for sure: she can’t stand it anymore.

Quarantine may end in three weeks, and in the meantime, where will we end up, will we be divided, or will we live under one roof like two strangers? Didn’t I recognize my husband or the coronavirus changed him, or rather, the tension and stress changed him? And maybe everything will be the same again, ”she says, trying to be optimistic.

Anahit’s family peace has also been disturbed by quarantine.

“My daughter-in-law and son spend all day  in front of a computer, working from home, at least that’s what they say. I don’t know, they work or use that Facebooks,” she said angrily.. I only know that they don’t care about the house or the children or anything at all. I and the children are not allowed to enter the rooms and we have to organize our daily life in the kitchen and on the balcony, on the condition that we do not make noise, do not speak loudly, do not play, we hinder them. Is it possible to keep two children in a two-room apartment so that there is no sound? Children are lively, full of energy, they have to play, who understands…

Mrs. Anahit was taking care of grandchildren before quarantine as well, as her son and daughter-in-law work. Disputes have started in their house in the last month.

Kids always want someone to appreciate every little detail they do. It’s very important for kids to get especially parent’s admiration, – she says. “And if a parent constantly rejects a child and doesn’t want to do it, I don’t understand.  What is more important than a child? Then you can take a minute to praise the child, smile and that’s it.

Lusine and his brother did not resist the isolation. They are from Gegharkunik region, they have decided to stay in Yerevan these days and have not returned to their native village. Like many of them, it is difficult to stay locked in an apartment for days. Lusine still manages to spend her days on social media or talking on the phone with friends, and her brother finds it difficult to stay home all the time, and more often gets irritated.

– I am the eldest of the family, I am 10 years older than my brother, I work, and my brother is studying in the last year of the Agricultural University We’ve been arguing a lot in recent weeks, we haven’t had much of an argument before. Disputes are always on the same topic, my brother does not want to stay at home, and when he leaves he refuses to wear a mask or gloves, and when he returns home he does not change his clothes and shoes. When I try to discipline him, he is rude, thinking that he is safe from everything. In any case, I don’t understand his carefree behavior and I’m not tired of constantly telling him to at least put on gloves.

The relationship between the sister and the brother has become so strained that even a few days ago the brother slapped his sister after the latter reprimanded him for putting the shopping bag on the table without disinfecting it…

It should be noted that the number of cases of domestic violence in Armenia has increased under quarantine conditions. According to various sources, the increase over the same period last year ranged from 30 to 50%, but given the latent nature of domestic violence and the fact that women report violence only in extreme cases, it can be assumed that the real picture is much sadder, it can be more than the numbers prove…